We Need Eachother

Daryl leading a homeschool group up Cedar Mountain.

I first met her when I was around 17 years old. My mama took me up the Cedar Mountain Farm to show me her incredible garden. - I was particularly entranced by the wall of sunflowers that were growing along the Southern boarder. The families had known each other many years. She was delighted to have us over to the farm. She showed us around the garden and made me feel instantly welcome. I had no idea at that time God was beginning a lifelong bond between this tall slender and spunky woman and I. oh! How much we would need each other in the following years.

Daryl’s sunflower jungle. Summer 2013

Cedar Mountain Farm was home to a remarkable woman named Daryl Ann Kyle.

She lived on her farm most of her life and shared it with anyone and everyone. I am so thankful I was blessed to be one she called family by choice.

She lived an extraordinary life - simply by living each day just being herself and letting God’s radiant light shine through her.

As I grew older I gained an interest in gardening - I’m sure seeing Daryl’s wonderful garden had some influence on me. I asked my mother in law to take me back to see the farm and talk with Daryl about growing. We hit it off big time. She taught me just how generous farmers can be. She sent us home with wonderful ideas, encouraging words and bags of delicious home grown produce. She believed whole heartedly that my garden would succeed. It was the composed manure of her farm that I learned to get my hands dirty in. That compost fertizlied the seeds I planted and they grew strong and produced much. All the while Daryl encouraged, shared and cheered me on.

That good ol’ Cedar Mountain Farm Compost - Spring 2020

Daryl became a friend I would visit frequently. She welcomed my growing little family into her life. She would spend time sharing her knowledge, her garden, the mountain and her life with us. There was not a time I didn’t go home with my arms full and my heart overflowing. She introduced me to the different types vegetables a person could grow - like the brilliant purple unique kohlrabi and lemon cucumbers. She laughed at the many uses for common weeds and the ways she had utilized them throughout her years. Perhaps it was the curiosity of the simple way she lived that inspired me to begin my own herbal and homesteading journey? Or perhaps it was that I had grown up on a farm and had to leave it behind and that she created a feeling of “belonging” that made me return time and time again. Whatever it was Daryl’s heart for people was always shining brightly like a beacon of hope guiding me along the path.

Each visit to Daryl’s garden was unique. She seemed to always be trying this or that. Experimenting with some new vegetable or another. Or embracing the garden as it was, volunteer plants, weeds, vegetables, flowers and fruits all in a complex and beautiful jumble of abundance. It was like a grown up version of a fairy world that I got lost in each time I returned. Our talks got longer and deeper and before we knew it we’d become the best of farm friends. Her love for experimenting and trying new things was contagious. I collected sunflower seeds from her patch and the sunflowers that grow in my garden are the grand babies that came from those seeds.

When I moved only a few minutes away from the farm onto some property of my own she gave me one piece of advice to get me going:

“ Esther,

Don’t buy expensive animals - because they WILL die. At least if they are free you are not out a large sum of money. Farm life is hard.”

I never forgot it and have since heeded it as truth. Her practical and matter of fact way of looking at life on a farm has carried me through many tough losses. She seemed to never get to attached. (This was not as true as I originally believed - read on to hear more) She once told me “ Esther do you know what I love about plants? When you get tired of them you can just let them die and no one cares” I’m fairly certain that was the moment I became a crazy plant lady.

Daryl watering the seedlings at Son Mountain Ranch. Spring 2016

The first year I moved onto my own land we had a mutual friend that lived between our two properties. She was kind enough to share space with both Daryl and I in her seed house and greenhouse. The three of us spent many hours gardening together. We cared for each other’s plants and became deeply invested in each others lives during those precious days in the dirt. These two women I was privileged to garden with were the most amazing women one could ever know. It was during this year together we started over 50 kohlrabi for daryl to take home to her own garden. This will be a good experiment she exclaimed! That fall she harvested soccer ball sized kohlrabi! We were all astounded.

As the years went on as it tends to do we shared many ideas with each other. I’m so sorry to her dear husband Al - He must be the most wonderful man in the world to have two women like us in his life. I’m afraid each time we got together his to do list grew another foot. We would discuss animals breeds and then try them out. We must have swapped rabbits more than a dozen times between us. There was the year of the “sizzled” chickens oh how excited she was to see their wild feathers, the babydoll sheep (which never came to be). Then there were the extra dwarfed goats, big heards, little hearts, and everything in-between. Just this spring she texted me:

Esther - I have put 3 goose eggs in your petunias. The green house was in the high 90s it should be fine. Please tuck them in with your chicken eggs in the incubator.

You see Daryl didn’t know the incubator was completely filled with eggs - but I candled and was able to fit these giant goose eggs right in there and we successfully hatched 2 geese with our chicks.

She was just thrilled!

“What a story!! You may keep them.”

And just like that we had geese on the farm.

We tried different feeding methods like growing fodder and sprouting grains. And of course we were just two crazy plant ladies that couldn’t help ourselves. - Perhaps we were just crazy ladies in general.

We spent one spring harvesting hundreds of maple seeds. We sprouted them and grew them together. Once while we were busy potting them up in the smelliest dirt I’ve ever smelled she looked and me straight in the face and said.

“Well, I will never taste the syrup, but you might!”

She was so invested in the future of the farm and what it would mean for others to continue to enjoy it - I never once saw her question what her purpose on the earth. When things got hard she would say something like “ there is hope in little bitty wings” or “ I will rejoice in how God directs all of us” She was so very excited to have genuine Cedar Mountain Maples growing for the future generations.

“The one who plants trees knowing that he or she will never sit in their shade, has at least started to understand the meaning of life” - Rabindrath Tagore

She once texted me out of the blue. I have a comfrey joke. I used it in a small hugle. Darn stuff rooted and started to grow. I removed it because it was not my plant of choice there.

This was especially funny to her because a few years before this I had gifted her one horseradish start. She was delighted! She planted it into the garden. It grew very well. That fall she had Al till the garden. The next spring there were thousands of little baby horseradish plants growing! Even when the lawn had turned golden in the heat of summer there the little babies were growing green and happy. I’m sure you can still find horseradish growing to this day.

Of course life is not without its hardships and we both had experienced many. One one such occasion I received a text that she had a goat in labor and it was not going well. We talked on the phone and was in need of assistance. She was raising Nigerian dwarfs and this one was quite small. She knew her hands would be to large and asked if my tiny hands would be available. With a willingness to help I packed up everything I thought would be of use and headed up to her barn. The plan was just to watch. I had been raising the same breed and had gone through births but not many and certainly no interventions. I however did have some experience with being a birth doula and had done lots of research on birth both in people and goats. - Anyway, I go up and we watch and feel and check out this mama goat. It didn’t look great. She made the decision we needed to go in and see what was really going on. It was at that moment I had to speak up.

Making friends with the locals at Cedar Mountain Farm while watching a goat in labor. Spring 2022

Daryl I’ve never gone inside a goat before. She laughed and said well I have many times. You can do this. I will tell you how. And just like that I found myself shoulder deep inside the back end of a very distressed mama goat. She walked me through each step. Encouraged me. Explained every single thing I would feel and what it was. She coached me through bringing the first baby out and then the second - and by that time we were all emotional and throughly worn out. It was then and there I learned that experience trumps book knowledge. The situation was not great but I walked out of the stall that night and God placed a rainbow right over that barn. Unfortunately that situation did not end well for the goats - Daryl simply said

In the Words of Ma -

“No great loss without some small gain”

Very shortly after this event a highland cow on the farm gave birth and she texted “ The Lord gives and the Lord takes. Blessed be the name of the Lord.”

It was like this with Daryl. She had such a matter of fact way of putting things. She had great empathy for others another emotions but could separate it out and make wise decisions that had to be made in the moment. When we were raising rabbits together there would be a bad doe in the mix and her response was well, shall we just shoot it?

Many years ago she approached me and said I think we should not trade money any more. What do you think? Should we just give what we have to each other and just trust that the Lord will take care of us in the end? I agreed and that was how we lived ever since. We shared many things over the years from soap and grain to plants and animals - even hoop houses. She taught me that truly God will take care of us if we just hold our hands open to Him.

One of the hardest memories on my own farm Daryl stood by my side and walked me through every single minuet. About a year after her sad goat story I had one of my own. I walked out into the barnyard one morning to find a doe with a leg sticking out her back end. I did what every good farmer does - went in and quickly gathered supplies knowing time was of the essence. I gloved up and went to work knowing what had to be done. After trying over and over again to hold the doe and pull the kid I knew I would need help. Something wasn’t right. I called Daryl.

We Need each other

Bask in the love good buddy.

She came to help (as well as another friend). Sure enough this birth turned out to be a pretty tough one. The three of us worked as hard as ever to have a good outcome. Daryl and her years of experience, my herbal knowledge and of course the support and knowledge of my other friend were not enough. The kids were still born and the mama was to far gone in the end and we needed to put her down. Later she told me that it had been the toughest presentation she’s ever seen. Through the whole delivery, attempts to save the does life and the emotional recovery Daryl encouraged me, brought me supplies, and checked in to make sure I was ok. She texted me several times that she was crying right along with me. I knew then she really did get emotional, but had learned to put it into the right place and not let the emotions control her. - I aspire to practice this as well as she did!

She shared something with me that I would like to share with you all.

“We need each other. We learned something. We persevered. We walked into pain and we walk out of it in time with God and friends. I love you. Bask in the love good buddy.”

I was asked as a student in elementary school who my hero was. I was asked again in middle school and again in high school. I never could come up with an answer until now. Daryl is my hero. I aspire to be like her sharing my life and my resources with my community as she taught me so well to do. I want to be the kind of friend she was - jumping in and lending all of her to whatever situation might be at hand. Bringing wisdom, experience, knowledge and most importantly God’s presence wherever she went. Her light will shine on through each of us that carry apart of her in our hearts. Daryl was the most incredible friend one could ever imagine. I am so thankful for her in my life. I will treasure my love and memories always. As I’m sure you will.

She once prayed this over me and I would like to pray it over you - in the words of Daryl,

“Blessings on you my friend. May God enlarge the community you touch, guide your every word, protect you from the assaults of the enemy and give you peace, provision and progress both now and forever more. - Amen.

See you in the garden my dearest Daryl.

Your fellow crazy plant lady.

If you would like to read more about Daryl’s life Al Kyle, her husband has written a beautiful blog post. You can read it by clicking here.